It is always difficult to recover from a split no matter whether or not you were the one who started preparing DIY divorce forms. Before you can finally feel happy again after the process is finalized, you should go through all stages of grief first. We are not going to go into detail about all these stages, and we want to focus more on the last one known as the “wasted years” syndrome.
No gold can buy time. It is what people easily invest but cannot get back by any means. When you said “Yes” to your former spouse, you probably didn’t think that you would ever look for the best online divorce service to end your partnership and regret wasting your time on this person. Perhaps, when your marriage came to an end, it felt like you had wasted some of the best years of your life for an unhappy marriage that left nothing behind but a broken heart. It is no surprise that you will never be able to live those years again. Therefore, after divorce, it is normal if you feel regretful even if you cannot live with this feeling forever.
It is always painful, yet devastating to live with a feeling of regret. Efforts that you are supposed to make to move on with your life and create memorable moments go down the drain when you are concentrated on how you would spend those years if you didn’t get married. Remember that regretting your past may become an obstacle that will prevent you from living a happy life. Below, there are a few steps to take to release your regrets and overcome the “wasted years” syndrome so that you can make a fresh start faster.
Write down your regrets
As useless as it may seem, you should write down all your regrets first. This is how you can decide on all aspects of your married life that you would like to be different. Let us say, you may regret getting married to your former spouse, not obtaining online divorce help earlier, giving up on your hobbies because of your marriage, and so forth.
Once the list is made up, delve into every item. Try to find out what would have happened if you had made a different choice or if particular circumstances had taken a different turn. Would you be healthier/wealthier/etc.? Would you live a better life? Look through your list one more time and use it to see your past from a different perspective.
Try to find plus points
It is hard to overestimate the power of our minds. Your thoughts can be either your motivation to move on or your obstacle to getting back on track after your break-up. Try to organize your thoughts by catching and reshaping them so that you can develop a positive attitude. Remember that nothing is black or white. And if you even try to look on the bright side of your so-called “wasted time”, you will see that your marriage was not for nothing. Let us say, a plus point might be that you got married to have your wonderful kids and become a great parent to them, etc.
Don’t focus on your weaknesses
When you feel regret, willing or not, you are very likely to show weakness. Thereby, during this rough time, it is better if you focus on the strengths that will empower and motivate you to let go of your regrets. For this, take your time to think about your strong points. When you feel stuck and desperate, it is quite challenging to come up with a few items; however, if you take it slow, sooner or later you will end up with an impressive list. Your strong points might be creativity, ingenuity, generosity, faithfulness, kind-heartedness, and so forth. Just don’t belittle yourself. Look through your list and decide on how you can use your every strong point in the future to live a happy life with no regrets.
Think about your personal growth
You cannot recover from an unhappy relationship without regretting about the latter. Moreover, you should realize that you cannot turn a new leaf without reflecting on your marital life and everything linked to it. However, there is a big difference between focusing on what could have happened and learning from your experience no matter how bitter it was.
A good thing is that you have a great chance to gain invaluable wisdom from the choices you have made and the situations you have experienced. Therefore, no regrets! Try to learn through errors and use your decision to get a divorce as a good opportunity for your improvement. So, if your marriage didn’t work out for the best, then do your best to turn your drama into an excellent chance to grow and improve yourself as an individual.
Remember that nothing should be ever considered wasted if you have ever enjoyed it. And you probably have loved your ex and spent a great time together, then why would you enter into marriage? Nothing should be considered wasted if you have learned from it and grown from the experience. And nothing should be considered wasted because it helped you become who you are today. Your married life wasn’t worthless. Consider it as a great investment in a better, yet happier future.